El Furniture Warehouse is spanish for…

The Furniture Warehouse.

Morning! Welcome to our 3rd post…now we wouldn’t say it’s the best so far but we will say it’s certainly in the top 3. Special shout out to Julien “El Toro Loco” Favre and Anna “that’s quite enough shrimp on the barby” Maxfield for joining us on this adventure. Their opinions aren’t valued, wanted or represented here…but it was still nice to have them along for the ride.


Carla and I saw Dawn of the Planet of the Apes then headed to a new bar on Bloor called El Furniture Warehouse. Here’s the concept – everything on the menu is $4.95 at all times. We met Julien and Anna there and got menus after a short three hour wait (I think our waitress was new to the job #rookieoftheyear).


Beers were reasonably cheap, and Carla got a fairly tasty Virgin Caesar (the drink named after me and an ambitious young ape). Despite our waitress’ assurances that the portions were full meals, we ordered six things between the four of us. Here they are in no particular order:


Garlic Shrimp: I untied her from the chair and released the Carlaken. Those poor shrimp were torn to bits in seconds… In the single breath she took in the midst of the carnage, Carla proclaimed them to be “delicious!”


Soft Tacos: Maybe a little light on the filling, but 3 tacos for $4.95? I’m not going to complain. In my life I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a taco that disappointed me, and that trend continued.


Mac ‘n Cheese w/ bacon: Starla and I split this one. Bacon was a buck extra but worth it as it always is. Portion size was hefty so Carla did most of the heavy lifting on this one while I sat in the corner and cried. It was simple but damn good.


Pulled Chicken ‘n Fries: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Julien pulled it. And then ate it. Feel free to use that one at your next social event. Anyways, Julien seemed to enjoy it but I can’t vouch for the deliciousness myself, because I subscribe to the mantra, ‘never take a bite of a Swiss man’s sandwich.’ Hasn’t failed me yet.
Burger n’ Fries: Anna got this and said it was “a good burger”. Then she asked the waitress where they get their Kangaroo meat. The waitress explained that it was beef, not kangaroo. Okay, none of that actually happened but Anna is Australian so it probably could have.


Perogies: Everyone knows that sharing is caring. Oh sorry…not everyone. #julienandanna #theperogieslookeddelicioustoo #justkiddingtheyactuallyofferedbutwewerestuffed #welliwas #notcarla #shesneverfull #shemustpoopalot


Donuts: Timbit style donuts with a caramel dipping sauce? You shittin’ me? No Billy Mays…I most certainly am not. These were a fine finish to a pretty damn good meal.

Time to tally up the score:

Appetizers (Shrimp+Perogies): 110/130
Mains (Burger+Pulled Chicken+Tacos+Mac’nCheese): 211/272
Desserts (Donuts): 85/99
Julien (&Anna): 3/7*
*Anna is not to blame
Ok so El Factory Warehouse gets a pretty solid 406/501 score while Julien only manages a paltry 3/7. Good job El Factory Warehouse and better luck next time Julien. Thanks to those who voted in the poll…Pearl King won. Hope your Friday is better than this little guy’s!


  1. Ryan Gerald · July 25, 2014

    Guys. Love the blog. Keep up the good work. That being said, I would have appreciated a little final indication of whether you thought the $4.95 per item deal was all it was cracked up to be as I feel this is the main selling point. But if you felt the post was getting too long, making fun of Julien was definitely more important. Unfortunately deep down he knows he’s a 2/7 kind of guy so you probably made him feel better about himself…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Foot Long Hot Blog · July 25, 2014

    Well Mr. Gerald, you’re right in assuming we wanted to focus on making sure everyone knew that Julien wasn’t enjoyed. But to answer your question, yes the $4.95/item deal was definitely all it was cracked up to be. The food exceeded our expectations quality wise, and the portion size did too. I would say if you went there on an empty stomach, getting one thing off the menu would leave you satisfied but maybe not truly full. Two things would be overkill. Getting one thing on your own and sharing an appetizer is probably perfect.


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