F**k me!? No fuku!

I apologize for the title, but I just couldn’t resist. If you’re offended at all, then just go read up on the current state of the NFL for ten minutes, then come back and my headline won’t seem so bad after all.

So who’s already guessed where we went? Oh you did, did you? Bet you think you’re pretty smart? Well you know what fuku! Let’s see how many times I can use that same joke in one post. Yeah we went to Momofuku noodle bar.

It wasn’t where we intended to go, but our first choice had a 45 minute wait – which meant 45 minutes of Snarla doing this to me. No thanks. So our company for the evening, Colin Pearson – a beautiful young man with a butt that won’t quit – suggested Momofuku. At first Carla said, “nah fuku man fukthat.” But he talked us into it, and off we went.

The fud:

photo 2-1

BBQ Chicken Buns: I had no idea what a steamed bao was until we went to Banh Mi Boys at work once. They look like little doughy pockets but man are they ever delicious. Fill ’em with BBQ chicken, crispy chicken skin, some slaw and you’re laughing all the way to flavour town. (Be careful once you’re there though, I once had my car stolen in flavour town.)

photo 5

Shrimp Buns: Colin got these, and Carla tried them too. I of course couldn’t – and if you don’t know why then maybe do a little research…jeez. Anyways similar to the BBQ Chicken buns, the prognosis from young Pearson and Carla was the same – delicious!

photo 1

Hot ‘n Honey Wings: Carla probably doesn’t think I noticed this…but I did. Colin had 1 wing, I had 2, and Carla had 3. I NOTICED CARLA! She actually gave me the scraps of the 3rd wing which was a bit of a fuku, but quite a tasty one! They were crispy, sauced just right and still piping hot. I think we were all a fan of the wings.

photo 4-1

Momofuku Ramen: Originally the title for this post was “We’re ramen, and I hope you like ramen too!” But Carla looked at me like I had farted after a night of drinking followed by 7/11 nachos. So I changed it. We got the namesake ramen, which came with pork belly, fish cake and egg. This was the first ‘ramen bar’ experience for both Carla and I but not Colin. He was slurping those noodles like he was raised in Shinyokohama, Japan and was the curator of their popular ramen museum. Overall I’d give the edge to the Vietnamese in terms of delicious noodle soups, but ramen was still very good.

Score time! (No more fractions though… fuku, fractions)
BBQ Chicken Buns: 11 Flavour-town fukus out of 14
Shrimp Buns: 11 Colin bums out of 14
Hot ‘n Honey Wings: 12 Carla is a wing thiefs out of 16
Momofuku Ramen: 13 Shinyokohama’s out of 17
Colin Pearson: 4 Julien Favres out of 6

Momofuku Noodle Bar scores high this week with a 47/61. I’d like to wish everyone a happy fuku Friday! (That’s 7 fuku’s for anyone who was counting)



  1. Foot Long Hot Blog · September 19, 2014

    Eric is a piece of poo and actually I had 1.5 wings because I gave him half of my wing. SELFISH. So really, Eric had 2.5 wings, I had 1.5, and Colin’s bum had 1.

    Also sorry for the not so great photos. It was dark in there!


    • Ryan Gerald · September 19, 2014

      The blog said there were 6 wings, and now you’re saying there were only 5. WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON HERE?!?! Who had that last wing?


  2. Foot Long Hot Blog · September 19, 2014

    I guess I (Eric) might have counted wrong and there were only 5? One thing’s for sure the credibility of this blog has been tarnished. I apologize profusely Mr. Gerald.

    (P.S. Carla ate all 6 and has been threatening me and Colin ever since…she’s INSANE!)


  3. RingBell · September 19, 2014

    Who the fuku goes to Momofuku and doesnt get the PORK buns. that sweet tender pig belly…… woulda scored a hot 71/85 pearson ass. Instead I’m raging like an Angry Julien about your oversight


  4. Foot Long Hot Blog · September 19, 2014

    Fully understood but we at FLHB are full of oversights! Having little to no actual food knowledge we regularly choose the wrong item, but the beauty of it is Carla will eat it anyways!


  5. Tallin · September 19, 2014

    I thought there were 6 wings. I lost count because Snarla ate about 10 wings she had in her pocket while waiting the 2 minutes it took for us to get our food.

    I feel the shrimp bun needed some more respect in this right up. It killed the chicken bun!


  6. Foot Long Hot Blog · September 19, 2014

    Shrimp will never get the respect it deserves on this blog alright? If I have to suffer with my allergies to cats/dogs, christmas trees and shellfish, than the world will suffer along with me.

    P.s. great butt Pearson


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