First off Carla and I would like to apologize. We’ve had a two week hiatus and that’s not fair to our loyal followers. I think at least 2…maybe even 3 of you have reached out.
“Where the post this week?”
“Actually funny story, you see work’s been pretty crazy because we-”
“-I don’t care. Oh and shut up.”
Well I don’t think that’s very nice, but regardless, we bring you a new post. We actually went to this week’s spot a fortnight ago, but the deliciousness is still fresh in our memory. Ladies and gentleman, the reptile…the legend…Golden Turtle.
Veggie Spring Rolls: You can’t hit the Turtle and not get the spring rolls. Deep fried and literally dripping in grease, they’re built less for speed and more for comfort. There’s only one place in the city I’ve ever been with a better spring roll – I’ll give you a hint, Carrot Top, Andy Dalton and Archie Andrews are all…
Pho: I got ol’ trusty #1 – the rare beef Pho. Or ‘whiteboy Pho’ as Snarla likes to call it. She got one of the ones with like cow intestines and horse dink in it. Now despite the fact that Carla is Filipino (aka Spanish Chinese) and not Vietnamese, I still feel her opinion here matters much more than mine since she’s been eating Pho since she was under 5 feet tall (always).
Eric: “So compared to other Pho places, how would you rate Golden Turtle?
Carla: “Spanish Chinese?!”
Eric: “Oh right…not funny? What about the Pho?”
Carla: “The Pho was delicious. One of the best I’ve had. I’m going to get some of my Filipino boys to kick your ass!”
Eric: “Are they like Triad Conquistadors?”
So there you go. Snarla gives Golden Turtle’s Pho her meaty stamp of approval!
Chicken Satay w/ Rice: I thought satay meant the chicken was on a skewer…but maybe this was cooked on the skewer then pulled off? But if so, then where were the skewer holes? Did they seal them back up with ground up chicken? Sort of like a chicken caulk? If so did they have a caulking gun filled with chicken? If anybody’s seen any chicken caulk at Golden Turtle I’d sure like to know about it. Anyways it was good, but Golden Turtle is all about the Pho so who cares.
Time to tally-up!
Veggie Spring Rolls: 15 Grimey Gingers out of 18
Pho: 24 Snarla’s out of 27
Chicken Satay: 7 Chicken Caulk’s out of 11
It should be no surprise that Golden Turtle gets a golden score on the half-shell of 46/56. In terms of bang for your buck it’s pretty hard to top the Turtle, especially on Ossington. Before we sign off, I just want to say, you know what…it’s nice to see you guys again. Catch ya next Friday!