OH HAY! Happy Friday everyone – it’s almost the weekend and we all know what that means…two whole days of damp, cold, dark days on the couch, watching your gut creep over your waistband while you try to muster up the energy to shave or pleasure yourself. Don’t pretend like it’s not true.
But last week Carla and I fought back against the winter blues. We decided it was high time for another FLHB post. So Snarls got a strong prying board and managed to wedge me out of my couch groove, then she got me a tub of luke warm water, some Mr. Clean and a rag on a stick so I could bathe myself.
We discussed where to go. I felt we should choose a place that reflected both of our respective cultures. So we chose Patois – a Jamaican Asian fusion restaurant. Oh and I’m going to try and remember to include prices from now on.
Jamaican Patties: ($7) Sometimes Carla will go across the street at work and get fried chicken at this Jamaican place Ritz. And sometimes I’ll say “hey can you grab me a Jamaican pattie?” And sometimes she’ll respond “maybe you could waddle over there and get one yourself?” And sometimes we won’t talk to each other for the rest of the day. Well this wasn’t like that. These were two delicious beef patties with Sriracha and a cheese sauce. Like most beef patties, they were simple, yet ultimately delicious.
Kimchi Pot Stickers: ($11) Often I ponder to myself – “what’s in a name?” Why is it that certain letters, in a certain order just sound more appetizing than others? Pot stickers. Why does that just sound like something I’d like to eat, and Carla would like to inhale? Now these ones in particular…were just okay. Carla wasn’t a big fan but I thought they were alright. Cooked well but a little bland. Oh and while we’re on the subject, I’m about to blow your minds with the least appetizing two-word combo on the planet. You ready for this? Continental Breakfast.
Fried Chicken: ($12/Half order) Here’s a true story with fried chicken as the hero. My ol’ pal Colin (the one with the nice bum) witnessed this at an airport in Houston recently. The attendant at security was a boisterous African American man who was having a heck of a lot of fun with people in line. A lady came up with a particularly heavy bag and he complained in a jovial manner about the strain of lifting the bag and that he would need a piece of chicken to recover. The lady then asked him if he would like a piece of chicken. He said “why yes I would!” She then pulled a piece of fried chicken out of her bag and handed it over. Needless to say he was pleased! Now if that piece of fried chicken was as crispy, juicy, and thickly coated as the fried chicken at Patois, then that security man went home happy. When it comes to fried chicken…I believe Dave Chappelle said it best.
Jamaican Patties: 745 cold shoulder‘s out of 985
Pot Stickers: 648 muffin and some cantalope’s out of 994
Fried Chicken: 1145 true hollywood story’s out of 1357
Patois scores a respectable 2538/3336. Next time I’ll ditch the dead weight (Carla) and get the jerk chicken since I’m not a giant asian baby and I can actually handle the heat. Happy Friday all…and to all a good fight.