No Regretto, a trip to Libretto.

“Call me Ishmael.” For I have been chasing my white whale for years. No not Carla…although she’s certainly large, she’s not white so the reference wouldn’t make any sense. No friends, my white whale happens to be a pizza joint at the corner of Dundas and Ossington known as Pizzeria Libretto.

What’s pathetic is that it’s only about a ten minute walk from my home. It’s a location that’s been on FLHB’s radar for a while now, but since Carla isn’t a huge pizza fan (aka she’s a raging psycho), I’ve been forced into a diet that’s high in rice, and low in Grimes. WELL IT’S A NEW DAY CARLA! YOU HEAR ME!? Oh you did hear me? Sorry I’ll keep it down…you’re the best…

Il Cibo: (The food)


Ricotta Gnocchi Fritti: ($7) Little deep-fried gnocchi’s sitting on top of a layer of marinara sauce and topped with ricotta. When these showed up I immediately started fantasizing about getting on that warm bed of tomato sauce with them, maybe opening a couple bottles of vino, start with some heavy petting and then just see where it goes from there. By the time I snapped out of it Ricarlotta had downed most of the plate and I had to wrestle her for the scraps. She was a fan. So was I.


Arancini: ($9) Fried risotto balls with a cheesy center. These were delicate little fellas – touch ’em with a fork and they exploded! With three to an order, i didn’t like my odds (I believe you all know why…but we must be careful not to disturb the Minotarla for her wrath is terrible), however we shared like civilized people. They were good, but I think we both felt they could use a little more filling and a little more flavour.


Nduja Sausage Pizza: ($17) Now Libretto is a VPN joint. Which stands for Vera Pizza Napoletena. Which stands for legit Neopolitan Pizza. Right now you’re thinking “holy shit, Grimes knows a lot about stuff!” Fuckin right I do. I also read it on the menu. Anyways if you really care about VPN look it up, but essentially they use proper ingredients and their pizzas cook in a sweet-ass oven in about 90 seconds. This pizza had Sausage, Tomato, Garlic, Oregano, Basil, Mozzarella, and Stracciatella on it. What’s Stracciatella? To be honest…I couldn’t stratch-a-tell-ya!! HA! Despite not being a pizza lover Carla was impressed even though the sausage was a little spicy for her. She couldn’t get enough of that good-ass cheese either. I was blown away by the crust, so nice and light and chewy.

Il Punteggio: (The score)

Don’t forgetto, we gotta tally up the score. In honor of the old world ways, we will be using Roman numerals.

Gnocchi: IX wacks with a wet noodle out of XI
Arancini: VIII mythical creatures out of XII
Sausage Pizza: XV delicious crust’s out of XVIII

Final tally – Libretto scores high with a XXXII/XL (32/40 ya dumbasses). That’s it for this week, but Snarla and I have developed a new strategy for restaurant selection going forth so that’s exciting right? Essentially we’re going to stop going to places that nobody really gives a shit about. Happy Friday homies!


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