We’re going back in time for this post folks. A few months ago (at least) Carla and I purchased a Groupon for Habits Gastropub. $69 earned us the right to a four-course dinner for two. You don’t always know what to expect from a Groupon, however when you’ve got the seal of approval from Toronto’s finest palate – Julien Favre – it’s a pretty safe bet.
Like I said, it was a while ago so I couldn’t tell you what Carla was wearing that night, or whether I chose to wear my hair up or down. But my stomach has the memory of a young Tom Berenger, plus Photarla took pics so we’re going to be juuuuuuuust fine. Off we go!
Lime, Pepper & Cilantro Chicken Wings:
The first course was a starter to split. I think there were a few good options but the moment the waitress said “Chicken Wings” Snarla ripped her arm clean off and screamed “BRING ME THE F**KIN WINGS NOW!” She bled out…
Anyways, as you can see the wings were cooked golden crispy, and once I removed the herb of Satan (cilantro) and burned it at the stake, they were quite delicious. The sauce/seasoning was mild, but as my ol’ pappy always told me, “Son, you’re a disappointment, and it doesn’t take much to make a good-ass wing.”
1.) Pear/Blue Cheese/Pomegranate Seed/Arugula/Spinach
2.) Beet/Goat Cheese/Spinach
Mine had more stuff in it than GoatCharla’s therefore it was superior. They were some hefty salads, which would have been fine if I had the appetite of a 4’11” Filipino woman. But we’d already had the wings so my little tummy needed to be careful not to fill-up before the main event. What, you wanna know more about the salads? They’re salads. Calm down.
10 Oz. Striploin + Fries:
I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on beef. But I do know, that I like my steak like I like my women – lightly seasoned with an internal temperate of 131 Fahrenheit. And this one met my rigorous criteria. But the real standout here was the fries. When you go to a restaurant, months later, how many of you can really remember the fries? None of you so stop lying to yourselves. Especially YOU!
E: “What are you getting?”
C: “Hmm…I think the braised octopus.”
E: “Ew, you’re dumb.”
There it is, verbatim. We should have our own reality show. You can suggest names for that show in the comments, but have fun beating “Snarla and the Gingersaurus“. I’ll ask Carla now what she thought of the octopus. “It was amazing. It was so good and tender. Probably the best octopus I’ve ever had. Also I think the only restaurant octopus I ever had…but still…crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.” Her exact words, verbatim.
1.) Cheesecake w/berries
2.) French Vanilla Ice Cream
This one is getting long. I’ll keep the dessert short. The cheesecake was simply adorable in it’s cute little jam jar container. The ice cream was rich and smooth just like my man Derek Mumford.
Webster’s dictionary defines a “Gastropub” as, “a pub, bar or tavern that offers meals of high quality.” It goes on to define a Kraken as a “fabulous Scandinavian sea monster.” And now the score.
Starter: 6 dead waitresses out of 8
Salads: 7 Big Salads out of 10
Entrees: 16 Verbatim’s out of 19
Dessert: 8 Shivering Ghost’s out of 10
There you have it folks. A final score of 37/47 for Habits Gastropub. Happy Tuesday and I hope you enjoyed your Canada Day!