The original title of this post was “I hate tacos: said no Juan ever”. But in typical Carla fashion she said, “No! I’m the star of this b**ch and people need to know it!” In fact, she insisted the title be either La Carlita, El Carliachi, Once Upon a Time in Carlexico, or Y Tu Carla Tambien. So we compromised. She got a few lucky shots in but I still feel I won the fight.
By now you’ve probably figured out this edition of FLHB focuses on Mexican food. If not. Well…you’re dumb. And we’re talking Mexican STREET food. Those who know me from my more dangerous years will remember when I ate this shit all the time – back when I went by ‘Chillantro’ or ‘El Toro Loco’.
That’s right, we hit up La Carnita. And we took two of Carla’s main homies along for the ride, Sheen-star and her main squeeze Matty Hotcakes.
Tortilla Chips & Dips – We went with the dip trifecta. Guacamole, Corn Salsa, and Spicy Bean & Smoked Queso. I was most excited for the bean and queso dip – mainly for the inevitable trumpet solos that would come later – but the Guac stole the show.
Carla: “Agreed. It was the Guac of the walk.”
Sheena: “I worshiped the ground it Guac’d on.”
Matt: “Frrrrrrrrrpppppp“. I guess Matt liked the bean dip…
Mexican Street Corn – Straight from the barrio. Crema, queso anejo, ancho chile, arbol…tell you what if you’re starting a rap group with your pals and looking for a Mexican theme, those are some pretty sweet rapper names right there. Hot off the grill and smothered in flavor explosions – this was corn porn.
Between the four of us we got the Pollo Frito, Beef Cheek, Carnita & In Cod We Trust. I was the only one that didn’t get the fish taco, and my dining partners had the audacity to rub it in my face. Carla said it’s the best fish taco she’s ever had. Sheena said that if she accidentally dropped it in the toilet at a stranger’s home she’d still eat it. And Matt said, “Eric are you rubbing my leg under the table?” (Update: Yes I was.)
El Postre (Dessert):
Homemade ice cream bars. You can keep your cakes and your pies and your macarons and your puddings. Give me a nice peanut butter ‘n chocolate ice cream bar, a napkin and get the hell out of my way. Sheena and Matt got Oreo because they’re from out of town and clearly they just don’t get it.
El Marcador (The score):
Chips & Dips: 8 ‘long Guac’s off a short pier‘ out of 12
Street Corn: 11 ‘Chillantro’s‘ out of 13
Tacos: 18 ‘What if Cod was one of us?‘ out of 25
Ice-Cream Bars: 7 ‘no sharing‘ out of 10
Well, our apologies if that ran a little long but it’s been a while and we’re out of practice. La Carnita takes home a good score of 44/60. Make sure you come back next week because we probably won’t have a new post for you!
Special thank-you to Matt and Sheena for joining us. We won’t give your last names so you shall remain anonymous.